She looked over at him. He was just leaning over the railing of the balcony. A sad expression worried his face and troubled his eyes. Aqua blue eye, cold as glass or as inviting as silk. His eyes cast downward towards the garden. If only he would say something, anything she just wanted to talk. To know that he was real....
* on the stage, on my own *
He was right there- in touching distance. Why hadn't he turned? To notice she was there? Could he not feel her very presence in the room? Would something effect him that deeply?
*Whenever said my words*
Slowly she inhaled. Taking a breath to talk but the words died on her lips as his eyes lifted up towards the stars. Those same eyes that had pierced into her heart. The stars he caressed in his eyes mirrored back in those blue depths. Was it her imagination or were they brighter in those pools?
*Wishing they would be heard*
She pulled her hand up to her lips and rested a finger there. Lingering on a thought. Her secret wish, but he couldn't know. It was just so impossible, so improbable that he would guess... that he would hear her secret wish deep in her heart. If she only had the courage to form her wish in words. She would take her final breath and whisper it all to him, if only......
*I saw you smiling at me*
Her eyes closed. Instantly the back of her eyelids turned from a milky darkenss to a vivid colored landscape. The very halls that she stood on now filled her vision. There in the middle of the viewing room, his study, was where they had sat. Where he had smiled reasuringly at her in a effort to calm her fears and night terrors.
*Was it real, or just my fantasy?*
A smile curved her lips upward in a gentle stroke. It all seemed so far away now but he was a few paces infront of her.
*You'd always be there in the corner/ Of this tiny little bar*
If only he would turn his head and greet her with his eyes. Him smiling reasuringly to tell her that is wasn't just a fantasy. That she wasn't dreaming and that.... Oh! But her secret wish deep down in her heart. Would he truely mirror what she felt there?
*My last night here for you*
The noise of the party behind her and the slow drift of the music brought her out of dream. She just couldn't stand there forever, waiting. Or could she? 'Is this just all but a dream?' Her mind whispered. If she awakened then, she told herself, it would be the cruelest nightmare.
*Same old songs, just once more*
Even then... had she not wished those reasuring smiles would be for alone? Her eyes had always strayed to those lips. Yet again she brought her fingers to her lips. 'If just once....'
*My last night here with you?*
If it was true, what Ferio had said then everything would be gone. Her wish, her last wish would be broken, torn.
*Maybe yes, maybe no*
Everything had been chance. As it was now chance. If only, just even one dance. The music behind her swelled and dropped in a waltz. Girls in gowns, rendisions of the past she had only read about. And here she was, outside, waiting to be noticed. Waiting for.... for what? A simple dream that would never be? If only once... If only....
*I kind of liked it your way*
She should be content with his smiles. The guidance shown. Perhaps she had been overly agressive. Who could blam her for her reaction?
*How you shyly placed your eyes on me*
And there he was. There he was looking into her eyes as she opened hers. A inquizitive look passed his face. His brow nitted and furrowed in a line. If only she could reach out and smooth it out. 'Worried?' Her lips pulled back as she nervously rolled them between her teeth.
*Oh, did you ever know / That I had mine on you?*
Did he know how long she had been waiting, watching him? She had waited and watched him willing him to turn. His eyes froze her in place. Her voice caught in her throat as nothing would get around her fastly throbbing heart.
*Darling, so there you are / With that look on your face*
A cool breeze swept past them. The background noise of the party lost behind them as they gazed at each other. Their gaze reflected in the others eyes. The brooding eyes, his lavendar hair, and his black dress cloths. Hers- the almost to pale skin accented by a slender neck. It had taken her a long time to pull her long hair up in a bun which spiled ringlets in tiny tear shaped forms.
*As if you're never hurt*
And still his name was lost to her. Both frozen in the moment. Their eyes locked on one another.
*As if you're never down*
He was worried, as always. But about what? He wouldn't tell her. Not because he felt that she couldn't deal with it.. but because he himself would not allow help from anyone. His heart was pure, and strong.... but weak in confiding. His reasuring smiles were for her. To strengthen her confidance in herself. But who would do the same for him?
*Shall I be the one for you / Who pinches you softly but sure?*
'If only he would step forward... move towards me.' Perhaps then she would know what was in his heart. If only she wasn't frozen in place with the music of the ballroom behind her.
*If frown is shown, then / I will know that you are no dreamer*
If only.... She had been saying that forever. Ferio had told her to trust herself. Will was everything. Will would reveal her wish, her secret wish and maybe he would return it back. If only.... the world was made of 'If only's.'
*So let me come to you / Close as I wanted to be *
Slowly but surely her slippered feet moved. And was she dreaming when in the blur she could almost see his feet move? step forward one by one as if locked in eternity?
*Close enough for me / To feel your heart beating fast*
Lost to the swell of the music beyond the balcony, beyond the pillars, beyond the dreams and hopes of other girls who dance with their princes, there she was. Laying her head on his chest. His arms wraped around her shoulders.
*And stay there as I whisper / How I loved your peaceful eyes on me*
If the world was truely made of 'If only's ' then it wasn't just her world. 'If only' had become 'Now only...' Her heartbeat thrumed in her throat. Her words, all and nothing, stayed still and silent on her lips. His hand reached up and prushed a few ringlets away from her eyes. Gently he layed his chin to rest upon the very top of her head.
*Did you ever know / That I had mine on you?*
Secretly, she knew his wish too. It couldn't be a dream. Not when his eyes reflected hers. Not in the embrace he held her in at that moment. They were both lost in the universe. Lost in eternity of each other's arms.
*Darling, so share with me / Your love if you have enough*
A deep sigh shook his frame. His warm breath tickled her ear. Now if only he spoke. Revealed his secret perhaps she truely wasn't dreaming. Not a dream, never a dream now that they had found each other again. Their secret wishes once again revealed to themselves. They would not forget this time. She would not let go this time.
*Your tears if you're holding back / Or pain if that's what it is*
The music in the background slowed and dulled to the bittersweet end. A warm triklet of rain slide down her check. For a moment her eyes filled with tears as she realized the sky was without cloud cover. Rain would not have been as warm as his smile or full of his pain. Her fingers lifted to her check touching the spot where a single tear traced its path down her face.
*How can I let you know / I'm more than the dress and the voice*
For the first time she saw his tears. His eyes closed in pain or relief. And deep down she too reflected those tears. The warmth on her checks told her not only deep down did she mirror those tears but outside as well.
*Just reach me out, then / You will know that you're not dreaming*
His arms tightened around her. His aqua eyes bleeding tears while he looked down at her. Her head tilted up and there on the balcony beyond the waltz's she finally realized that his screct wish had always been hers. Her name, whispered upon his lips- His lips pressed against her own. For once she wasn't dreaming. Inside of her heart pain was replaced in with the knowledge... of what they shared. And whispered upon the wind ... carried with the scent of his light lavendar colored hair, her name slowly faded but lingered on his lips.
"Umi...."